Uncensored, May 26, 2005
Greetings to all!
I got a letter from Suzanne. I could feel her pain through her words. There is so much I wish I could write or say about Richard. I just do not know what to say.
I feel like I need to write something. I can’t find the words.
I read an article about his execution. Reading about it brought his murder to reality. I mean I knew he was executed, but it didn’t fully sink in. We are so isolated that when someone is executed, it is as if it never happened. That is until it is read about in the newspaper.
I am a level 2, so I couldn’t listen to the radio news about his execution. I had to find out at first from the officers.
One thins about Richards writing is his ability to be humble. Not many can do that. I am used to locking everything in, well, to a degree.
Richard’s family, Suzanne and a lot of others got to know Richard, “The man behind the mask!” the mask being the stereotypes of Death Row, are going through a lot of pain right now.
It was once said that a man’s dying is more the survivor’s affair than his own. His pain is over with. Now we must cope with ours.
In the newspaper article about Richard’s death, they quoted the victims family saying “at least we know he’s not going to hurt anyone else.” The victim’s family in the offense that got me sent to death row said the same thing. My question is “what about the co-defendants who did not come to death row, because they helped the prosecutors?”
The article stated that one of the guys who was supposedly with Richard had cut the victims throat. This co-defendant isn’t on death row! He got fifty years! So he is walking around in general population, plus, could be release in about fifteen years. Who is to say that he won’t hurt anyone else?
A co-defendant in the case against me ADMITTED to shooting the victim. He was facing Capital Murder, though as a reward for his testimony against me, he only got 15 years! He can go home in three more years. He didn’t even get the 15 years for murder. So he actually got away with murder. He got away the first time, why not do it again!
The only reason the prosecutors went after me is because of my past. Out of all of the people involved, I had the worst past. Nothing truly bad. Some things look bad, because of the way they are labeled.
I actually had ten times the amount of people testify that I was a good person then the prosecutors had say I was a bad person., which is why they had to get people to lie! Because out of all my life they could only find 3 people to say I was dangerous.
1 was a teacher who used to call me stupid in front of the whole class because I had trouble spelling! Oh, by the way, I was in FIRST GRADE !
2nd was a case worker from T.Y.C. (Texas Youth Commission) whom stated I assaulted him when he went to break up a fight. Now he would be a good prosecutor witness. The only problem is I beat the charge! Other inmates and “officers“ who seen the entire fight stated that I did not hit him! So the supervisor of the T.Y.C. facility dismissed the charge.
#3 was another T.Y. C. worker who stated I hit her while she was breaking up a fight. She stated this at trial, however, in her report of the incident when it occurred, she made NO mention of being assaulted. My lawyers couldn’t locate the report, so she was able to lie. However, I am now in possession of this report and can show she is a liar. She really didn’t like me, as I did not adhere to authority and rules very well while at T.Y.C.
Then there was the psych doctors. A Neurologist testified for the prosecutor that A.D.H.D. (which I have had all my life) was not a legit condition
Some doctors agree, though you wanna know the #1problem with this doctor saying he didn’t believe in it? His phone number to his office is 1-800-###-2343 which translates to 1-800-$$$-ADHD! He treated and prescribed medicine for A.D.H.D. which he stated on the stand in my trial was not a legit condition.
So I can that every witness brought forth by the prosecution to testify is a liar and/or has reasons to lie.
My ex testified that I used to hit her. When she stated that on the stand, I told my lawyer “Man, I swear I never hit that girl”. She has since written a statement for the court that the prosecutors had her lie! She is one of the 4 people who wrote statements that she was instructed to lie and not to talk to my defense lawyers.
One of the main things I tried to show in my trial, other then I was innocent of murder, was to show the victims family that I was not the one who killed their loved one. The prosecutors admitted into evidence a picture of the victim, Samuel Petry and his granddaughter. I only really cried twice during my trial. Once when my baby sister testified for me and when they showed that picture.
I told my lawyer “I didn’t kill that man”. His reply was “I know, but we have to make those 12 people realize that”.
I guess we didn’t succeed!
Now people might wonder “Well, why did they convict you”. Just as everyone thinks that everyone on death row in Texas has killed someone.
This is not true. Texas has a law called “Law of Parties” meaning a person can be found guilty if they are a party to the offense. It is a “ Ride with an outlaw, die with an outlaw ” law.
However, to give the death penalty, the prosecutor has to prove that the defendant anticipated that a human life would be take and/or intended for a human life to be taken.
The co-defendants in the case that got me placed on death row testified that I was the shooter, however, the evidence suggests otherwise. Plus, the codefendant in both murders bragged about getting away with murder and failed a polygraph test.
There is not one finger print from me in the whole case. My entire trial was a puppet show.
Samuel Petry’s wife and 2 sons sat through the whole trial. At first I was embarrassed that they actually thought I was the shooter, then I got angry. My thinking was “how the hell can they say I did it and think I did it, when they weren’t even there”.
I knew that the prosecutor pumped their heads up with propaganda. I had hoped that by the end of the trial, they would realize that the prosecutors were full of shit.
Though right at the very end, when Mrs. Petry testified about how she was impacted as a victim, she stated that she wanted me to get the death penalty so that I cannot hurt anyone ever again.
Yet, Mark Ray, whom admitted to shooting the victim, only got 15 years and David Page, whom bragged about getting away with murder, only got 35 years. Not one of them received time for murder!
I did not testify in my trial. I wanted to, but my lawyer begged me not to. A paralegal who I grew close to, whom worked on my case, begged me not to. They were worried that the prosecutors would twist my words and/or make me mad and then have me in a negative light for the jury.
I now regret not speaking for myself. If I get a new trial, I will testify on my own behalf.
When I received the death sentence, the victim’s wife yelled out “Thank God” and my mother yelled out “no” and collapsed.
The first thought that ran through my mind was “Why is she thanking God for these people telling me that they are going to kill me?”
Truthfully, though people always use religion for their own personal agenda. It was once stated “man will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it; anything but live for it.”
I wish I could talk to Mrs. Petry for a few hours, though, I don’t think that it would help anything. She has a lot of anger and unwanted feelings that need to be focused on someone I am the easiest target. If it helps her to cope, then it is okay.
I want to go back within the walls of this death camp for a second. From the cell that I am in, I can see the outside recreation yard and ½ of the control picket. The pods are shaped in octagons with a wall in the middle.
A guy was on the rec. yard that has had a heart attack and heart surgery before. I was talking to the guy in the dayroom (my cell is on 2 row). I looked at the outside rec. yard (It can be seen through big glass windows, so the control picket can see the whole yard.). I noticed that the guy was grabbing his chest and bending over.
I told the guy in the dayroom “Hey, lookout dude. Get the picket officers attention. Ole cat on the rec. yard looks like he is having a heart attack again.”
So after about 2 minutes of yelling, she finally looks outside and then tells an officer to go check on him. By then, he is laying on the ground!
A Sargeant comes and has the officers call medical.
15 minutes from when I first saw him grasping his chest, medical finally shows up! They were walking and taking their sweet time.
Now the officers did keep an eye on the guy and talked to him. So if he would have died, the only ones to be blamed would be medical. They work for U.T.M.B. (University of Texas Medical Branch out of Galveston, TX).
The TDCJ Officers did follow proceedure, so I can’t blame them. It did amaze me how slow the medical staff were walking!
I do not know the guy’s condition. It has been about five and a half hours since he left. He hasn’t come back yet. Though I hear he is alive and will be okay. No thanks to Medical!
On another note, the quality of food has increased now that a new administration has been put in place over the Polunsky Unit Death Camp! There for a while, the food actually stunk! I mean, to the point that it would make me gag if I tried to eat it!
We still are not getting steak, but prison food. It has gotten a lot better.
Captain Wickersham is NOW gone.
For the most part, things have calmed down, now that he is gone, as well as Warden Jones, whom was a complete idiot.
I was on F-Pod Level 3 and was talking to him one day. Half way through the conversation, I told him “you really are more stupid than you look, huh?” His reply was “what does that supposed to mean?”
I told him “you got to be stupid if you think that I will fall for a case about that bullshit you are talking”. (He was tossing around mild threats).
He then walked away.
I look at it like this. I am here to die. I fully expect to die. This environment is so oppressive, that death looks a lot better then living in this hell hole. There is nothing these people can do to me, shore of killing me, that will really affect me. I have spent most of my time here on level 2 and 3. This is something that a person would have to experience to even ½ ass understand.
I don’t think anyone can fully understand this place and why they do what they do and why the courts are so blood thirsty.
Anyway, I am glad that someone finally, made the intelligent choice of removing Captain Wickersham and Warden Jones.
Well, I have covered enough ground for today. I am going to go ahead and wrap this up.
I leave as I came.
3872 F.M. 350 S.
Livingston, TX 77351
I just received Richard’s final Uncensored articles as well as a letter from Suzanne that talked about hateful e-mails made by Grey Suits who work here at TDCJ. It seems that the swine want to put their two cents in!
Not all Grey Suits are swine! An officer is someone who is professional who comes to work, does his time and goes home to his family. He is just working to support his family. I respect that!
A swine is the Grey Suits who feel they are a spoke in the murder machine wheel. They take this shit personal and send hateful e mails and other coward B/S! They want to talk shit about Richard and the way he was in here as well as his associates, which include myself.
Richard was a MAN ! He stood for what he believed in. He refused to submit.
I have notice a certain “change” in certain grey suits behavior since I started posting articles (the TDCJ officers wear grey).
The thing about me though is I like a challenge and I like controversy! I am here to die! I do not want a life sentence. So that means that nothing I do here will have any impact on me in any shape, form or fashion!
I am only fighting my conviction! Though due to the Law of Parties, I do not hold much hope in that. I do have a chance as I can prove I didn’t shoot anyone and I can prove I did not get a fair trial! But I will continue to live as if I am going to die.
Suzanne is just doing what she believes in! So why send her hateful e-mails? Come up to my door and tell me what you think! Tell those whom I associate with what you think. We always tell y’all, correct?
“Of mice and men!”
People have a fight or flight response in them when faced with certain situations. I can’t run too fast!
I will say this one time at the swine playing little games with those trying to help me and other DR convicts. If you want to play, we can play. Though next time, it will not just be one or two people going off! Bonds have been tied and words given. So if you wish to retaliate against me for writing these articles or harass Suzanne for posting them, then go ahead and get yours. I will get mine.
I gotta live in this piece of shit fucking hell hole for some shit I didn’t do and did not even know was going to happen! I had to listen to my mothers screams and see her being restrained by my step father and lawyer’s secretary when I got the death penalty. I had to walk by her when I was being escorted out of the courtroom and seen her reaching out for me, crying and screaming, “No, not my baby”. and seeing the look of defeat on the strongest person I know ’s face! I have to see the tears on her face when she goes to leave from visit. That is the pain that fuels my rage. I just got to find a direction to point it in. Ya dig?
So the swine who want to play games, when you talk to your wife and/or children and they ask you “Daddy, what did you do today? Or “Honey, how was work?” I want you to be honest and say “well, I went to work and played little childish games with a bunch of guys who are waiting to die in the state who has said they don’t care about innocence and keeps killing more and more, thus taking away all of these guys hope, all because I get to wear a uniform and get paid roughly $30,000 a year if I am lucky! That doesn’t make much sense, does it?”
No it doesn’t. I am focusing my rage through my writings. Let it be done in peace. You live your life, Let me live what is left of mine.
I am tired of seeing people I have grown close to get slaughtered by the state!
The only reason I keep fighting is for my wife, friends, baby sister and my mother. That is it. My whole life has been nothing but pain damn near! I just seemed to have gotten a raw deal! If I did not have them, I would not give a shit one way or another. Death is nothing but a next great adventure!
I treat people with respect and I ask the same in return. I am mostly just really angry at this point, but I have made my mind up to a few things. Reading what Richards family wrote kind of pushed me over the edge and right after reading that I read about stupid swine who work here.
It helped me make my mind up on a few things! Richard asked me to be honest, so I am. My anger comes from the heart. Every day, I wake up and ask myself, “Why am I even trying? Why be passive?” Then people treat me like a caged animal, why not act like one?
I am here to die. These people are trying to murder me! What would you do if someone was trying to kill you?
Would you resist or submit? I used to think “well, the guards aren’t the ones actually doing it”. But if they feel they are and act as if they are, then are they not just as guilty as the rest who are trying to kill me? Yes, they are!
Plus, to top it off, I have a Quarter Million Dollar Court Ordered hold on my account! So, I can’t even go to commissary!
So I really do not have any reason to be good and/or follow these stupid oppressive rules! I have already told my wife “I will chill for as long as they allow me to”. I love the girl to death! She told me she would stay by me through thick and thin.
I am getting too aggravated. I got to open some books and step away from this hell I call home. I am gone.
Polunsky Unit Death Camp
June 1st, 2005 was the last day I received said e mails, therefore, as promised, I took my comment off Rich’s last Uncensored. Thanks.
This is from Margherita to Irene in which we have permission to share:
Verona, Italy 1st June 2005
two weeks have passed since those terrible days. And only week since I’m back home, in Italy. Just today I started my job. But my life has changed, for ever…
The day before my flight, I found on L. of H. mailing list the last “Uncensored” from Richard Cartwright. I printed it and I want you to know that it was my reading during the whole flight! And while I was reading, my pains came up on surface. In fact, I’d experienced so many pains and sorrows inside my heart and soul, but wasn’t completely aware of them, due to that cold and cruel death’s ritual. Now I am Ok as I am able to feel and to welcome all this sorrow. I want to sip it till the last drop.
I lost my soul mate. Bryan died two weeks ago, in that inhuman way, over the Cross in the death chamber.
In those terrible moments, as Richard wrote, I found Irene arms to welcome me and I was feeling like in my mother’s embrace. Thank you Irene, I will be grateful to you for motherly comfort. We shared many hours in the visiting room and I felt all your love and support to me and Bryan’s family as if you were my own mum. I found you waiting for me outside the Wall, that evening, regardless to your deepest pain, you found the strength to consoling mine…. Thanks to Layne and Diane too and all Richard’s friends I met in those days. Thanks to Irene Wilcox who was really so kind to me not only in that days, but in all my prior visits.
I will be eternally grateful to Richard for his writings, because I had the opportunity to know last Bryan’s moments, even on the other side of visiting room.
I hope all this will end one day. Maybe we all are too tired at this moment to fight, but we must do it!
I will keep praying for you all and for all the people still in the death row.
I wish to thank all my Texan friends for your love and such a strong support… old friends and new ones: they are so numerous! You all are deeply inside my heart, forever!
Bryan Wolfe’s girlfriend