Uncensored, May 22, 2005

Uncensored, May 22, 2005


Greetings to all!

Today is the 22nd of May. It is currently 1:06 a.m.

I have been meaning to sit down and write this all weekend.

Richard was executed on the 19th of May. I saw him at visitation a couple of days before his date. I spoke to him a little bit.

You know as I sit here writing this, I can’t think of anything to write. I mean, it really is as if he is still here.

The prison keeps us so isolated and doesn’t inform us if someone has a date or if they die or not. We have to find out from the free world.

There have been times I have been talking to people and they ask me where a certain person is housed at.

I tell him “Man, they killed that dude like 3 months ago”.

The reply was “no shit? Damn, I didn’t even know”.

It is done very clean and quiet. Plus Texas kills so many, that it isn’t that big of a deal to the public really, as far as the media goes. The “familiarity breeds comfort.”

I have noticed that when they go to kill a guy in New England, it makes the front page of the  USA Today though if it isn’t a high profile case in Texas, it doesn’t even make the state by state section!

I’ve seen Richard’s mother walking around at visit. I wondered what was going through her mind. I also wondered how would my mother handle my execution.

My heart goes out to Richard’s family.

I did not know him that well. When I first moved next to him on F-Pod Level 3, I did not talk to him for the first couple of hours; as I was burning up from the pepper spray.

He asked me if I wanted to write an article for Uncensored about the Use of Force. That is what kicked off our conversation.

We went to outside recreation together. We ware in separate cages as Death Row inmates can’t have contact with each other through the bars.

We talked about hometowns, families, cars, women, our cases, the difference from when he was growing up compared to when I was growing up, and how to resist the oppression tactics of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

Through conversation we realized we had a lot in common. Then two weeks later he received his date to die.

We had talked a lot in those two weeks. I told the guy in the cell next to me “That is it. I am not talking to no one else. Every time I start to get cool with someone, they end up with a date.” Truthfully, it happens so much that it has become apart of life down here.

Speak of the devil. The guy in the cell next to me just asked me if they killed Wolfe. I told him, “yeah, on the 18th they did”.

His reply was “Damn, I didn’t even know he had a date.” He had seen an article about it in the paper.

It seems to only be getting worse. An article was put out on March 17, 2005 about a wider Death Penalty Lawyer Pool! It stated that former   Prosecutors  with  NO  experience as Defense Lawyers could qualify to represent death penalty cases!

That is like having the person that shot you, give you CPR! They became prosecutors because they want to punish.

Friedrick Nietzshe state, “Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful!”

The House Criminal Jurisprudence Committee Chairman Terry Keel, R-Austin, actually stated that the House Bill 265, which would allow prosecutors to defend Capital cases would actually make Texas standards “the best in the Nation in terms of qualifications.”

Now the last for words are the ones to pay attention to. “in   terms  of qualification!” Yeah, they will be qualified, but that is about it!  Qualified to help Texas kill us faster!

There is a guy here, I won’t mention his name as I do not have his permission to do so, but the prosecutor in his case was busted for using Methamphetamines while in public office!   He was shooting up between court breaks !!! “I inject your honor! I mean object.” : )

In other news, some attention has been shined on a possible wrongful execution. Cameron Willingham, whom was executed February 17, 2004 for his alleged role in a fire that resulted in the death of his three kids. It seems that due to new forensic evidence, that the fire was accidental. The same evidence which helped free Ernest Willis after 17 years of being on death row. Though Mr. Willis got off after Cameron got executed. I guess the state figured that they got to get one before they give one.

Well, back to Richard. All those that tried to help him, Don’t give up. He would want you all to keep fighting. There is strength in numbers.

I will be placing articles now, as much as possible. My case is still in the State Courts. Nothing has been ruled on yet. Though I still have a lot to write about, as I will be posting information about my case, death row, etc….. Pretty much the same as Richard did. Though I will also drift to other issues as well.

The next article I write will be about the family of the victims in the case that resulted in me coming to death row, as well as the emotional impact it had on myself from seeing them and know that they   think  that I was the one responsible for their loved ones death.

I was not the shooter in this case and can actually prove this fact. I will also be posting polygraph test results which showed the co-defendant lied as well as other statements from people who overheard the co-defendant brag about getting away with murder.

I am going to go ahead and bring this to an end.

Use the pain to fuel the fire that burns within.

I leave as I came.Stand Tall, Fade All,   Never  Fall.

Clinton Young
Polunsky Unit
Death Row
3872 F.M. 350 S.
Livingston, TX 77351

By Robert Shields, #999166

“Richard asked me to track the events of May 19th, so there they are:

May 19th – 8th Murder Day of 2005
8:05 a.m.-
Rich Cartwright leaves to go visit his loved ones for the very last time, looking remarkably calm.

8:20 a.m.-
Just heard on the news that Bryan Wolfe was indeed murdered by the State of Texas last night.

11:57 a.m.-
It seems like insanity to be doing this, but I climb up into my window to do what I can to get a last glimpse of a man I have considered a friend since we were on the work program way back in ’98.

12:01 p.m.-
Death chariot arrives!

I am a bit surprised to see no wardens and only 5 grim reapers in grey gather around. NO sign of the handshaking contest either! What’s really going on here?

12:03 p.m.-

Property Officer Hill brings out Rich’s property and clothes. I guess I missed the funeral procession of Rich leading the grey suits Army from visitation building. He must be in 12 building already getting shackled up for a safe trip to Huntsville.

12:05 p.m.-
Ms. Hill comes out shaking her head with Chi-town’s cross dangling in her hand. He must have been wearing it at visitation. Which I am sure they are not happy about it, considering he was strip searched before he went out there.

12:08 p.m.-
Richard comes out standing tall with his (bald) head held high, but not looking so happy. As he steps up into the van, he looks over at us in our little windows and wags his tongue at us. Basically, he is telling us no matter what, he’s not gonna let them break him and neither should we.

12:10 p.m.-
The grey suited grim reapers climb into their death wagon and drive off without putting on their seatbelts, BAD! Remember to click it or ticket! I know Richard wanted to wear his seat belt after seeing Mr. Bible hobble around in here from the injuries he sustained while not seat belted in when they crashed a TDCJ van he was being transported in.

The future is uncertain, but 6 p.m. will come way too soon for all of us. I sure hope Richard can receive that miracle. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Well, I just heard the news and don’t know what to say. Even with my pessimistic attitude, I expected it, but just the same, hearing it hit me hard. Rest in peace, Richard Michael. You will be missed. My sincere condolences go out to all of you who have been there for Rich, his family, friends, and loved ones. I know that all of your love, prayers, and support helped him make it through. He talked more about all of you and God then he did about his situation. Stay strong and keep your heads up so he can see the smiles on your faces. Whenever he is not busy doing the chicken dance, I’m sure he’ll look down on y’all.

I do not think most of you realize what you have been reading these past few months. I highly doubt you will ever see something like this anywhere. Not many men in prison would have the balls to open themselves up so completely, baring their soul, giving everyone a chance to judge him and everything he loves.

On top of all that, he has opened himself up so that you can see his deepest thoughts. A lot of dudes have called him crazy or things like that because the whole prison lifestyle has hardened them to the point that they cannot even understand where he is coming from. I cannot imagine what it takes to show the world the mental and emotional turmoil that he is going through.

I have seen how hard these last few days have been for him. I know how much all of your support has meant to him, helping him get through this trying time. It’s hard enough to deal with this situation without putting yourself out there like that, opening yourself up to all kinds of criticism from inside and outside of these walls. I truly don’t know how he does it.

Everyone rides this roller coaster we call life, but I am really struggling with it right now. Sitting here on this bunk, trying to sort through the thoughts and emotions that run confusingly through my mind. This is not the first time that I have sat helpless in this cell while a friend, someone who I have talked with, ate with, argued with, and laughed with, was led off to be murdered by the State of Texas. You would think it gets easier, but it does not. Rest in Peace Rich.

Here is a poem of mine that Richard wanted me to share with you:

This is no kind of life
Every breath I take
Is a step towards an
Untimely death

The screams that well
Up inside of me are
Just enough to fuck
Me up again and again

I have got to get out
There is so much I want
To accomplish before
I reach my end

Waiting for that
Chemical Cocktail
So far away but
I am coming back again

I feel the needle
Pierce my arm
Pain made to order
I’ve got to accept fate

Execution halts my breath
Helter skelter spiral death
Bloodbath in paradise
Forever sleeping…”