Loud & Clear, August 14 2006
“Like Red on a Rose” by Alan Jackson plays through my mind. I start to think about different girls/ women that have crossed my path in my life. My mind fades back to my first love and attraction. She was 17. I was 5. I sat beside her on the church bus. I thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. Just seeing her made me smile. Then she moved away to go to college. She gave me a water paint kit as a going away gift. I cried and cried. I felt as if my whole world was coming to an end. I don’t recall ever again crying as much as I did that day. I have thought about her often through out my life. What amazes me now is that I was able to experience such strong emotions at such a young age. Love is a mystery. How can something so beautiful cause so much pain? Like a thorn on a rose. Majority of those that i write know about my fascination with the “feminine nature.” What else has the ability to be so beautiful, cunning, and treacherous at the same time? ( I am not saying all are like that.)All my life women have been my weakness. I believe part of the reason I have such a deep appreciation for women is because of my mother. She was my best friend when I was a child. We have had a few rocky years lately, but that is a story within itself. Back to the subject. I was speaking to an associate about women the other day. Mostly about how some women I can not even imagine them being touched. Like a master piece. They need to be put on a pedestal to be admired so one could take in the quality of their design. Society burrs the concepts of beauty. Every other page in a magazine is an advertisement of a “beauty” product. Hollywood is mostly to blame. It has always made me sad to read about women that starve themselves, or induce vomiting to remain skinny. As the media associates being skinny with being beautiful. I have seen women of all shapes and sizes that just totally amazed me. There has been a lot of women that have made me take a double or even a triple look. But the only woman that ever made me actually stop and stare was in flip flops ( for translation purpose “sandals”) no makeup, hair in a pony tail and pregnant. The fact that she was pregnant made her even more beautiful. The whole combination of the power of life, beauty, and her self security captivated me. Now I sit in this cage torturing myself with memories. If anyone is wondering what caused me to get on the subject.
Well I got a letter from my friend Sarah that does my Loud and Clear articles and a myspace site for me. She sent me messages with photos from the myspace page. I was looking at all the photos of different women, while shaking my head and thinking “damn I want to go home.” I then sat down and wrote a poem called “All I Crave.” I will share it with you all.
“All I Crave” I find myself thinking of her constantly. Her beauty tortures my soul.Her mind consumes me. Her heart is what I pursue, with my fate in tow. The picture of her in hand. This agony I can not stand. So easily her smile melts this man. I hear her whispers floating through the wind. It wraps around my body. A driving force that pulls me to the source. A single touch, a single kiss, a night of love. All I crave, from this lonely cage.
– Clinton Young Aug 14,’06 Death Rows
Most of my poems are about emotion. Which is interesting as i don’t get viewed as an emotional person. I just try to set aside emotion so I can make rational choices. Most people make their choices based on emotion. In this place, it is best to set aside emotion. At least for me it is. I have taught myself to detach. A book actually influenced me in that manner. It is called “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom. I recommend it to everyone. It made me shed a tear towards the end. But don’t tell no on, as I am a dangerous killer and dangerous killers aren’t compassionate! (The dangerous killer was me being sarcastic!)
I know that this article was different than my others. I just wanted to express a few thoughts. Plus give people a chance to learn a little more about me. I will be writing more about my personal views and thoughts in the future. Not all the time though. As the purpose of Loud and Clear is to focus on the system. I am on level 3 with my comrade Steven Woods. Same as this time last year. 🙂 The smell of pepper spray is in the air. 🙂 Big Smile:)
Well let me get to the messages I received. Kaila, please feel free to write me! Thanks for the thoughts. Tell your aunt i said hello. Savannah, I appreciate your words of support. Thanks! Mandy, hey sweetheart, you should have received my other letter by now. Christina of Dublin, Ireland, you wrote of getting one of my friends to let you know what you can do. Well you can write to me. I would like for you to. I would prefer to discuss things with you , than have others do it. So drop me a few lines. Shay,Tania, and Emily the same goes to each of you. Thanks for your words of encouragement. Melissa, thanks for having me in your prayers. Catherine, i greatly appreciate you putting a banner for me on your page! I need all the attention I can get. Thank you! Scouse and Jennie, appreciate the words. I have a letter on its way to you Scouse! Mel from the south, thanks for your thoughts. Melissa and Scott, I hope that it works out for you both. I know how Scott feels! Thanks to all for the photos! Well I need to end this one. Progress is propelled by the force behind it. Unity is the key to success. Use the pain to fuel the fire.
Veni, Vidi, Vici Solidarity strengthened by unity I leave as I came.
In Solidarity, I remain
Clinton Young #999447,
3872 F.M. 350 South
Livingston, TX 77351
Copyright © 2009 by Clinton Lee Young. All rights reserved