Uncensored, June 19, 2005
Greetings to all!
Quote for the week. Mahatma Gandhi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Another week has slowly ticked by. Not much has changed. It has been fairly calm around here.
On a positive note the powers that be had the rec yard and pods cleaned up real good! They even used a buffer!
Though on the down side, we had to eat Johnny Sacks (a sacked lunch) the last two meals. Word is that there wasn’t enough staff to watch the inmates! Even the Gray Suits don’t want to be here!
I have notice lately that a lot of the ranks have gotten lazy, well I should say lazier! When a convict calls for rank, they don’t come. The ranking officers are supposed to come to defuse any potential problem. So if they rank doesn’t come, then the problem doesn’t get resolved!
Now, we are sent to death row because we are supposedly so fucked up that we can’t be fixed, so they just got to kill us. That means we have no sense of control and rational thinking.
So if a ranking officer doesn’t come to handle a conflict, that leaves a convict to handle the situation however he sees fit. If he resolved it with violence, the first question asked is “What did you do that for?” “Well, if you would have brought your lazy ass down here, we wouldn’t have this problem,” is the usual answer.
Now true enough, there are a lot of rational choice who caused them to do whatever got them here. But how can anyone be judged solely by their worst act? For the most part, Death Row is real passive. Maybe too passive! Majority have never been locked up before! Most were on drugs when their crime occurred and/or was with someone else. So peer pressure can be added. I know that rapist baby killers and serial killers don’t fit under that category as those kind of crimes normally happen alone.
One would expect Death Row to be a highly violent environment. I read a statement by a guy from Huntsville, TX in the newspaper. He said that if they opened up death row and let everyone walk around, then everyone would see how dangerous they are! Poor guy. I have to forgive him for his ignorance. He doesn’t know any better. As Death Row used to be able to walk around freely, with box cutters and scissors! That’s right. Very sharp metal objects! Nine times out of 10 the supervising officer was a female! No female offers were raped and no offers were ever killed. Though female offers have been raped by general population inmates!
But these death row guys are dangerous! A guy in population has freedom to look forward to. A guy on the row is waiting to die! He has nothing to loose. So one would expect the death row inmate to be more violent. Yet this isn’t the case.
So the fact that we are now locked down for 23 hours a day makes no sense.
Human violence is a well studied topic. In a recent study of “ 5 “ different cultures, it was found that “ 94% “ of males and “ 85% “ of females admitted to having vivid fantasies of murder! That helps explain all the pro-death penalty people and why they are so bent on us getting killed.
When I first got here, a guy wrote me and told me in short to turn my life over to Christ and cancel my appeals! I though to myself, this guy has to be a complete idiot! Just as a lot of people think the guards who work back here on the row don’t really like it. Yeah, right! They DO NOT have to work back here! If they say that their religions or personal views cause them to oppose the death penalty, then they don’t have to work back here. Most work back here because A. they think it is cool, B. they are for the death penalty and/or C. they are too scared to work in population. Several have said they would executed us themselves if they could.
Now there are maybe three or four who don’t fit into that category. Most just come to work and don’t bother anyone. I have even noticed that over all, the guards don’t mess with people like they used to.
Anyway, back to the topic of violence. The Bible says if you think it, then you are just as guilty of doing it! So all those people who have thought about killing us themselves are no better than the men housed in these cages. The same goes for those who try to get Death Row convicts to cancel their appeals! Some believe humans are violent by nature and passive by nurture.
“Man biologically considered, and whatever else he may be in the bargain, is simply the most formidable of all the beasts of prey, and indeed, the only one that preys systematically on it’s own species.” That was William James!
The thing that I find to be the most interesting aspect of the mentality of the average pro-death penalty individual is that most are very self-righteous. So they feel they have the ability to judge and punish.
Friedrich Nietzsche stated “Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.” – All or Nothing thinking is the product of a simple mind! Most people who are pro-death penalty hold that ideology, as a result of being conditioned to being pro-death penalty.
Confucius stated “only the wisest and stupidest of men never changes”! Anyone with an all or nothing mind frame is surely not a wise person, I.E. “He killed someone, so now he has to die!”
“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind!”
If you thought about killing someone no matter who it is, you are just as bad as the irrational person who carries his thoughts out.
Now a lot of people judge people by their worst act. “Men’s evil manners live in brass; their virtues we write in water.” – Shakespeare.
What should be considered is if the worst act represents a pattern, people can change, even the worst of the worst.
Paul, from the Bible, slaughtered lots of people, yet how often is he praised and quoted today? He was forgiven and changed his life around. Can a man on death row not be forgiven and change his life around?
As I wrote earlier, a lot of people are self-righteous and think they are important so they feel that they can judge others.
I’m going to share a personal story with everyone. When I was a child I didn’t have any other kids to play with in my neighborhood. My mother and step father were actually the youngest couple in the neighborhood. We lived in the Northeast, Texas region called Piney Woods. We lived by Lake of the Pines.
So when I was a kid, I would always go in the woods and run around with my dog. A lot of times I would sit, think and watch the animals. On one particular day when I was around 8 or 9 years old, I was sitting in the woods, watching two squirrels play. I began to think, if I died right now, would the squirrels stop playing? What would change in this world? Who all would miss me?
My baby sister was too young. She was only one or two, so she would not really miss me. I don’t know my aunts, uncles and cousins that well. The only person who I felt would be truly hurt by my loss would be my mother. Though she would be able to carry on. The world wouldn’t stop turning. So I realized that day that we are not actually that important.
In the big picture we are like a speck of dust in the middle of the ocean.
Truth is that most people who pass away are forgotten by the next generation. If people would realize that they really are not important and would humble themselves, this world would be a much better place to live.
How many people can you name who died in this war in Iraq? I mean right off your head! Most likely no one, unless a relative or friend died. Yet we all can say who started the war.
How many presidents can you name right off your head? I can only think of 15 off the top of my head and history is one of my favorite subjects! Most couldn’t name that many. I guess they just aren’t that important, huh?
The point of all that I have written is actually a message to those who claim to be pro-death penalty. What makes you more important then myself to the point that you can judge and condemn me? If you died today, the squirrels wouldn’t even stop playing!!
Now on to other things. There is a guy who has been on the Row for about 25 years. Since he came, his mental health has greatly deteriorated. His name is Cesar Fierro #000650. You can search his case and mental condition online. His lawyer stated that even when told of some good news from the courts, he raged and rumbled incoherently and banged the phone against the glass partition of the visiting room. The guy has lost it. He is actually too crazy to be executed. I was his neighbor for a little bit. I had some interesting conversations with him : ). He never gets any mail. He just sits in his cell talking to his reflection in the toilet. Sometimes he yells at himself. Other times he laughs at himself. For the most part, he seems to enjoy his own company.
Though seriously, I wanted to make a request of some of the readers. I stated the dude doesn’t get any mail. So if someone out there wouldn’t mind taking the time to send him a card or something to give him some type of pleasure and mental stimulation, I would greatly appreciate it. I mean, 9 times outta 10 if you are reading this, you really don’t have anything much else better to do. So if you all got an extra stamp, drop the guy a few lines. He really is “not all with us”. So he won’t be responding. Through to my knowledge, he can read.
And for any jack ass out there who thinks they will be able to get him to cancel his appeals, you might as well give it up. A. He has a FACTUAL innocence claim. B. He is too crazy to cancel his appeal. And C. He is a Mexican National, so he won’t be getting executed anytime soon. So all those who fit under the jack ass label, don’t waste your stamps!
On to other topics. Marina, I got your e-mail, book and shout out. Thanks for all three! Also thanks for all the help you are giving to Janice. I know she appreciates it.
Sarah, I got your e-mail as well. You have a letter coming.
I wrote in a past article about how the judge in my case placed an illegal “order to seize assets” on my inmate trust fund. Well, I filed a Pro-Se Motion with the help of another convict. He wrote it, I filed it. Well, the judge denied it, though, doing so, he actually gave me what I need to show he is biased against me. All the legal information regarding what I have written about will be posted on this site and others.
There for a little bit, the mail service was getting alright around this camp. I sent a letter to a P.O. Box in Houston on 06/06/2005. I got the persons response to that letter on 06/08/2005. I was very surprised.
Though it seems to have went back to the usual service as of lately. Which is like depending on a billy goat on crack to pass out the mail. Or maybe it is just me! After all these cells can make a person go crazy.
Last night an officer who worked the pod, whom really does not have much sense, I don’t know her name, but she gets hell bent when she shakes down! She took a guys bippy (cleaning powder) because he had too much and she then threatened to write him a case for excessive paper! He had some news publication she said was too old and confiscated it.
So I can see that my time on Level 1 is very short. I asked the officer if she felt obligated to bother people. Her excuse was the porters need the bippy to clean the pods!
Yeah, right. I just looked at her crazy and walked away from the door. My mind will not allow me to even try to comprehend some of these people.
I am listening to the “Shout Out” show on KDOL. It can be heard on the internet. I believe that Suzanne has the web address posted. It is just what these people do. They allow peoples voice from all over the world to be heard and help keep up the spirits of convicts on the row.
To all those out there fighting the good fight, stay focused, stay united and stay strong.
I focus on the entire system because the problems are not just based at the Polunsky Unit. It stems from the Courtrooms, Prosecutor’s Offices, Legislation, Governor and all the way to the White House. If we can organize enough people to the point that our voice is loud enough, then a change will come about.
Hopefully, President Bush and Governor Perry won’t be able to do much more damage before they are out of office. It will not be easy.
So take pride in the ability to attack the difficult. More and more attention is being shined on the system. Though we can’t stop ‘til Victory. To repeat a quote I have written in the past by Winston Churchill “Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, Victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.” Use the pain to fuel that fire that burns within you. Channel that energy towards success.
I have a question to all pro-death penalty people out there and American patriots who love this country and it’s Constitution. The Constitution states that a defendant is entitled to a fair trial. Would you not agree? If a person didn’t get a fair trial, don’t you think he or she should be granted relief and given a new trial so that his or her Constitutional Rights are upheld? You can’t have the 2nd Amendment Right and not the 6th. It all goes together! All or nothing, right!
I leave as I came. Stand tall, fade all and never fall.
3872 F.M. 350 S.
Livingston, TX 77351