I believe that one of my blogs wasn't posted due to some bad floods that hit Nashville, Tennessee. A friend of mine that types them, lives there. Thankfully, she and her family are okay. Though sadly, many others were not as lucky. This world is falling apart! If it isn't earthquakes, floods or giant oil leaks, volcanoes or terrorists!

I didn't have any plans to write anything until I got back from Midland. I decided to write a short piece. I was flippin through the radio channels and I heard "Dear Momma, by Tupac Shukar." That is a song that crosses ethnic and cultural lines. It hits the nail on the head for my life with the exception of my Mother crack pheen, black queen or on welfare. For the reasons that simply she never smoked crack, isn't black and when she left my Father, she worked three jobs throughout the week.

Even after all these years of being on death row and having to depend on other people, I STILL to this day have not gotten comfortable asking for help or having to depend on other people. I wish so bad I could do everything myself. Though the reality is I cannot do so :( It eats me up. I have mentioned many times in my past writings that noone can be as dedicated as I am to saving my life, for the simple reason it is my life. Though my conflict with asking for help from others, I get that from my Mother. It is why I am so defensive when someone tries to put it in my face all that they do for me. As if I have to owe them or need then and can't do it without them. I can never swallow my pride when it comes to that, so I am fast to tell a person where they can shove their so called help. :) Thankfully, I am not faced with this problem often, and thankfully I am blessed to have some people that are in it for the right reason.

I guess I do get my "I don't need anyone- low tolerance attitude," from my Mother. Though I think this is what helps me push so hard. I feel that the day I get comfortable needing others is the day I stop fighting so hard. My desire to not have to depend on others is what drives me to keep looking for open doors, so to speak. Keep trying to find that magic path to get it done myself.

In the past, I had people that were like "You sit down and be quiet, we got this." Uh NO, NO, NO, that isn't going to work. My friends now involve me in the process and that helps me feel comfortable. Father's day is meaningless to me. Like the lyric in "Dear Momma," My anger wouldn't let me feel for a stranger." On a lighter note, my life right now is like that Lynyrd Skynyrd song "Still Unbroken."

Although after getting the pictures of some of the women that write me, I wish it was more like the song "Neighbors know my name," by: Trey Diggs. :) Hahaha, I'll be damn! I swear that song JUST came on the radio! :) It is a sigh, I tell ya! :) Hahaha!

April 15, marked my 7th year on death row! :( Way too long! I do say so myself that it is about time for me to go ahead and check on out of this camp! The room service just isn't up to par for me to keep blessing them with my attendance! So I am going to send a note to the warden and tell him to go ahead and send me my bill, as I'm ready to check out and get on to the house! :( Wish it was that easy!

Anyways, I just wanted to wish all you splendidly, divine, feminine beings a Happy Mother's Day!

Oh yea! I have often thought of ways to try to support some feminine cause! As in my struggle it has been predominately women that have helped me. I am a firm believer that when life blesses you, you have to bless back. So while taking a break on this Mother's day and reading a US weekly May 17 edition Magazine, this guy in the cell next to me gets it ;) Flipping through it, there was a spread dedicated to a twitter conflict between Kim Kardashian and Demi Moore about Kim using the words "Big pimpin." (WHich is the Jay Z and UGK song) Demi Moore lashed out about the use of the word. Now of course Kim meant it in a literal sense. But Ms. Moore had a very valid point that got me to thinking...

If I were to stand up and say "Let's have a master and slaves ball," There would be an outrage. However if I were to stand up and say "Let's have a pimp's and hoe's ball," The youth would giggle and go along with it.

The reality is the pimp culture has become far too accepted in today's pop culture. I don't care how watered down people try and make the word, it pertains to the enslavement of a gender! This is something that should not be celebrated in any aspect of society and damn sure not by any element of the media. (I am not casting any negative light on Ms. Kardashian, though she does, regardless if she wants to or not, have a degree of role model status with her younger fans)

A while back while listening to the morning radio programs that come on every Sunday, there was a show featuring a lady from Houston. She was talking about the young girls that get found in sex shops in the US. They are mostly immigrants that were smuggled here and forced into prostitution, as they have to pay their debts.

When the Federal police raid these shops and round up the girls , she said that there was no federal program to help these girls with the trauma they went through. They get deported and it is up to their countries to do whatever. The fact is something that troubled my spirit. The women caught up in the sex slave trade deserve justice too. So I have decided to try to add this cause in my "Justice Rallies." The rallies in the US, I am going to try and have someone speak out about this at each rally. So hopefully it encourages people to contact their Senators and Represenatives about making it so that their is Federal funding to offer counseling to these types of victims. More so the young girls!

Look I don't give a f*ck who you are, where you are from, beliefs are or whatever. Never should a day go by where the sexual exploitation of a women or child is tolerated in any form! Women are the foundation of all life! If, as a society we do not hold them in the highest regard, then the moral thread of that society will degrade. Children are our future! If we as a society do not protect them, then society will cease to exist. Those closest to me know how passionate I am against the exploitation and abuse of women and children.

I have lived by example. Here is a true story. Just to show that many of the women that get into the sex trade only do so 99% of the time due to having suffered from some form of abuse, drugs or dept owed due to drugs or being smuggled into the country.

When I was free, I met a girl through another girl that I knew. One of the first things that I would ask a girl when I would meet her, was her age. I wasnt trying to go to jail! More so after the adversity I had to deal with as a youth! The girls in this case for the sake of iprivacy will call "A", told me she was 17. The girl I met "a" through knew better, but didn't say anything. "A" was actually only 15. Long story short, I found out through a guy who knew her from school, that "A" made a sex tape with like 20 guys. So I went smooth off on her. She started crying. Which made me feel bad, so I sat down and started to talk to her. Then it came out how her piece of shit boyfriend gave her a ruby. (A date rape drug) And then he let all these guys carry out these acts on her. Since that had taken place she had NO self esteem. I mean sex to her was like shaking someones hand. She had dropped out of school. I took the time to explain to her the concepts of respect and self love. Also perception from a guys postition. The last time I got to speak with her, it was only brief as the phone died and we lost connection. Though before it did she told me "Hey, I'm married!" Than was so much pride in her voice when she told me. She didn't know if I heard her, as it was breaking up, so she repeated "Did you hear me?" "I'm married now!" There was so much pride in her voice, she was able to tell me that she had a job and was married. At one point when she was a young girl that had no sense of self worth, to now having stability in her life. So this experience had helped me to truely appreciate those that struggle against the sexual exploitation of women and children. As well as understand what causes them to make these choices and how in most cases all it takes is a person to pull them aside, show they care for who they are as a person and give the guidance they need to be successful.

So due to this life experience and my desire to give back, I am going to tie in this struggle with my Justice Rallies.

Now there will be some that try to dream up excuses for my reasons. But Randi, whom I lived with when I was 13, has had to hold me back from doing something to an older man that though it was cool to touch young girls.

My Mother has seen me pull a co-worker of hers daughter to the side and explain that was cool and what wasn't during a company trip to an amusement park. As the girl had misguided concepts of what made her cool. So I am not worried of any that think negatively as there is too many that can validate my motives as I lived it by example when I was free!!!!

Most problems in life require just a little time and understanding. You truly can make a world of difference. I am energized about this new battle in my life. One of my favorite books that has some focus on the exploitation of women is "11 minutes," by Paulo Coelho. It is truly a masterpiece. one of the very few books I have read that I could not put down until I finished it! I gotta wrap this one up!

It will be a couple of weeks before I write again!

Strive for all that you desire, Stand tall and start each day with a smile, and end it with such!

Veni, Vidi, Vici!
In Solidarity,
Clinton Lee Young
999447
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas, 77351

PS--More pictures will be posted of me in a day or two!

Copyright &copy 2010, Clinton Lee Young, All rights reserved