Clinton Young on Death Row - innocent on death row

It has been a long past few days. I have been drained of energy half the time and mad the other half. Nothing really to pin point, though it’s been pretty much do to the upcoming execution date. He is the first person I have been close to to get a date & it looks like he is being executed. Long sigh. So that had been on my mind heavy.

Then I finally ended ties with my ex. We had a stormy relationship to say the least. I don’t like to give up so I keep trying to make stuff work. She doesn’t give up. Actually she is about the most relentless person I have ever met! :) Haha. Must be the red bull. It’s best to go our separate ways as much as happened so it is difficult to stay near in any form. So this time period is very unique as some of the memories that I have of Joshua, that make me smile, are tied in with Joshua and her. So I think about it all & see two chapters coming to a close. This most likely will not be posted till the day of Joshua’s date. I know the courts have denied him relief. When I got to talk to him out at visit a couple weeks ago he felt like the chances was slim. I am a hands on kind of person. I like to be able to get a situation & attach it and find a solution. To be honest I feel totally fucking helpless right now. I mean there is nothing I can do to stop it. I still am undecided on how I will deal with it. I wonder what’s going on through his mind, how he sees it. Does he have peace. I know he has kids. I have looked at all the pictures. He had a way of laughin at stuff that could both piss me off and make me laugh. Sometimes I wanted to be mad but couldn’t be. Though we did get a common enjoyment out of giving another mutual friend a hard time! He lived upstairs above the mutual friend and I lived in the next section, so I would go to their dayroom & we would spend two hours just clowin each other (making fun of each other). Laughin until tears came (The dayroom is in front of the cells, so everyone can see the person in the dayroom). I hate this fucking place. The people that run it and how they do shit. It just puts rage in a person. Long sigh. I also ended contact with another person. Expected it to go differently with her. Though I guess she feels the need to indicate that I have bad qualities. Funny how people fail to do that until you upset them, huh? O well, I actually expected more class than that. I’m not mad at her though. People get mad & do things they don’t normally do. I do have the ability to piss people off at times. :) Life goes on. People come and go. You gain friends. You lose them. I might stop being friends with a person, but I don’t think bad of them. We just ain’t compatible no more. Just as Vera and I have went our separate ways, we don’t love each other anymore. Though I still care. Just like the others that are no longer in my life, for whatever reason. I wonder what she will do, where will she go. I don’t wish bad on people. I try not to hold anger. So that is why it is often best to just let go and go separate ways. A song that comes to mind is “a man I want to be” by Chris Young. I don’t always make the right choices in life, though I always try to do what’s right. I know I can be hard at times. Often I expect to much from a person. Not everyone had the drive that I do. It doesn’t make them lesser. We all are different. I got to get better at finding a persons strength and weakness better. So nothing goes over the boundaries. This situation with Joshua has caused me to reflect on some matters in a different perspective. I did find myself not wanting to go to visit so I wouldn’t have to run into him. Part of me felt like it would be easiest to just not face the situation. I get mad at myself as to me that is kind of cowardly. It is as well against the grain as to how I am as a person. The helplessness and not knowing what to say is just overwhelming. He was a big fan of the Colts. The didn’t win but at least they made it to the super bowl. Ha! I used to give him a hard time about how much he kept up with football. He loved to gamble on some football! Which I thought was just senseless. I would tell him “why don’t you put down your sports page and read about some history or something!” He won a bet or a series of them with a guy that totaled a couple hundred dollars, so he told me “See that’s why I keep up with sports!” Then the guy that owed him jacked him (refused to pay him!) He was mad one day and I asked what was up. He said “man, that punk jacked me!” I just busted out laughin and yelled, “Ha!, How them sports workin out for ya now!” :) He mumbled F*** you, which only made me laugh louder. Damn this shits crazy!

Anyway, I know some are waitin on letters from me. I have been caught up with the march and well just not feelin up to doin much. So to let a few know, Andrea from Australia and Elvira, I got your letters. I will write you this weekend. Julie (U.K) did you get my letter? Sigrid, I got the Jpay but not the letter yet. I really am grateful for your help with the march!

To everyone, there has been some ongoing positive developments with the rally/march, so that is good. Only like 60 plus coffins were sponsored as of my visit with Katie. I kind of thought there would be more. But hey, I really do appreciate all that did sponsor one! Thank you!

We did not get enough to get the buses. However, the funds are going to be used to cover the cost of thousands more fliers as well as hopefully it can be done in time, car magnets. These large slim magnets advertising the event that people in Austin can put on their car and be a mobile billboard. So as to help attract people to the event.

Really what worked against us was how little time we had to plan for the march. Though even for that, we turned out numbers so far. So since the next event, which will be in Washington DC, will not be until August. This gives us more time to plan. I as well got others in other states that are stepping up to help with it. So that it good. Now in this situation, we will need buses! No doubt about it.

Also I want to have a coffin for every person executed since the reinstatement of the death penalty. So, as of March 10, any coffins that get sponsored goes towards the Washington DC event. It costs funds to hold the rally at the capital steps in Austin.

A deposit had to be made. I do believe Katie will get the money back from that though.

A person speaking had to be flown in and then the cost of a room. Then we had the expense of the banners. We lucked out and found a cheap place and got two for four hundred. In color too!

So in short it has cost Katie around two thousand! So those that sponsored coffins, it really helped out!

We raised a little over six hundred with the coffins. We are going to try and get ten thousand fliers passed out and five cars to have the magnet signs on the side. So yeah, lot’s of work, time, and money goes it to it!

I wanted to take time to break it all down to everyone so that each and every person will see how their sponsorship truly helped! Pictures and video of the event will be posted for all to see.

I am going to have Katie put together a special grouping of photos and send them to all that sponsored the coffins. This will be done via email. As well as video footage of the event. So you all will get all of that first and then the video will be posted. I want to try and figure out how to do a slightly different video for the sponsors. I got to put some thought into that.

The person that is doing the film on my life will be there at the event as well, so that is good.

Ann Sofie and Kelly have been helping to add people to the myspace page. Texas coalition to abolish the death penalty has stepped up to join. University of Austin is going to help by advertising the event as well as another Austin publication. I am waiting on the name. I don’t know if it’s the Austin statesman or what.

Nov 27 has agreed to perform. So that is really good.

O yeah! I almost forgot. Some more corrections to my site are going to have to be made! I did not know it until I got a copy of the campaign packet recently that some stuff was up that shouldn’t be! Someone took it upon themselves to put in my site in the past, that my co-defendants had better paid lawyers or something along those lines. That is not true. Three of us had court appointed lawyers. One didn’t have a lawyer, as they did not press charges on him in return for his help. Well they did need lawyers since they were working for the prosecution! Katie had asked me if it was cool to use a piece posted on my site. My not knowing what it was, told her yes. So the mishap was pure accident on our part. I do not know which person in the past put that up. I don’t see it as anything foul on their part. I just think they were misinformed. I surely never told them that! BUT, this is the exact reason why I have a webmaster that is a professional doing everything. He required payment for his service. So I don’t have to worry about him doing anything on his own! :) Ha! Though James has worked with me greatly! So I am thankful for that.

Damn, I am just thankful for all kinds of stuff today, Huh? :) I guess Kelly would be thankful if I would hurry up and end this so she doesn’t have to keep typing. :) O, my poem book is finally finished. It is hard for me to write a poem. I have to have the emotion, so there is not many poems. I have written others, but the person I sent them to asked me not to use them. With each poem is a breakdown of what it means to me. So everyone will be informed when it’s ready.

The DVD’s are completed and should have already been mailed to those that ordered it in the past. Covers had to be made. Video edited and all kids of stuff. But it’s DONE!

Chapters close, next chapter opens. Guess I just got to sit back and see how it all works out next. The hearing is in mid May, so by July I should have an answer on my appeal. Then we go from there.

I leave as I came.

Veni Vidi Vici

Clinton Lee Young
#999447