Loud and Clear 2/8/09
Here I sit beating up my typewriter, listening to Carrie Underwood- 'just a dream'. I tell ya what that little girl can sing! Though she doesn’t have nothing on Miranda Lambert. But I am biased seeing how Miranda is my favourite. I got to hear her new song. "more like her' Its good, though not better then kerosene and other hits that she has. As most can tell I am finally on level one again. I was level two or three since May 15th 2008! I just made level one Feb. 6 2009. Normally it only takes three months but I am not normal so I always stay way longer than average. I just refused to shave and got use of force and other cases. None the less here I am on the great level one. :( the only thing about level one is visits and commissary food items. both are items used to control us. O and this radio that plays the same commercially promoted songs over and over again. I would rather be resisting my captor’s attempts at control of me until they murder me. Which is there desire. Thus separating any affection and understanding of their job and or rules. Though Vera, whom has done so much for me, has asked me to try to stay out of trouble and stay on level one as much as I can. So I decided to give it another try. I normally can tolerate level one for about 2 months. So we shall see. It never seems to amaze me at how most of the hostages of this place are clueless to their fate. They know they got a death sentence, but they really do not KNOW! They usually don’t fully realize it until they get a execution date. Most have this hope that they will get some relief from the courts. Though that really is a stroke of luck or divine intervention. As it depends on the lawyer the condemned has as well as the judge over his trial and the federal judge that he gets once getting to his federal appeals. I have been given some good lawyers. That really did allot for my federal appeal. There was much more they could do and wanted to do but ran out of time. My appeal is 1300 pages. Which is like 4 times larger than 90% of the death case federal appeals filed! It really could have been way larger. Yet the state is still trying to kill me. Damn this stressful life! :( The state files their response
tomorrow. I am really eager to see what all was filed. I should be
able to speak with my lawyers in a couple days as they have a
deadline of 12 days to file some papers. So I will have an idea of
the next step. I got good people on my side. The three lawyers I got
now are better then I ever had on my appeal. The other clowns that I
had was doing nothing more than sharpening the needle for the state.
I actually get along with these lawyers. I mean during a legal I can
actually laugh and leave the visit with a smile. Before I would be
so mad I would be shaking, due to the past lawyers. Because two of
my lawyers work for the federal public defenders office I got really
nervous when they first got on my case, as it was a federal judge
that appointed them. I am the only Texas death row inmate with such.
But I was also given Donld Vernay out of New Mexico. He has a good
reputation as well, so I really don’t know what to think. Then I met
with my lawyers from California, with the public defenders office. I
gave them the usual speech of " no one listens to me, if you will
just listen to me I promise everything I say will prove to be true,
I am not going to waster your time and bullshit." they said they
would look into it. I just thought “yeah I heard that before." But
then as time progressed I seen they was really looking. Everything I
said they were able to find to be true. Anyway onto other things. Due to the great Texas cell phone scandal they have moved everyone on death row around. I actually moved like three times in a week! Though that was more due to level status change. Most have not been able to get commissary because of mocking around to other pods. Plus since commissary is used as a means of control, the powers that be are limiting it. Maybe it will help break the holid it has on most people here and they wake up one day and think "you know what that commissary is trash they keep screwing us over. To hell with passive level one shit." I just mostly care about stamps so I can get my letters mailed. My thoughts are kind of jumbled right now. I got allot on my mind and i even got a headache. I used to never get them though lately I have been. Maybe it is stress. I had some complications with the nerves in the left side of my face though lately has not been bothering me. It was just a sensation that was in the left side of my face. It was not bells palsy or whatever it is called. Plus I had a spot on the inside of my left thigh, it matched all the characteristics of skin cancer, at least from eh descriptions of magazines. When a nurse seen it he raised his eye brows and said “you will see a doctor tomorrow" well this clown of a doctor comes to my door. Now I am on f pod a the time and f pod has doors with two metal screens and plexi glass on the doors. The glass has grime from fire and pepper spray on it. Basically it is not the clearest thing to see through. Well the doctor says let me see the place. Now he is standing like three feet away and looking thru the glass and two metal screens and just as soon as he sees it, not even a split second later. "O that’s just a skin tag, your okay" so I said "well what about the redness and the fact it is sore and bigger than it was a week ago?" Well the clown said " O its just infected!" and walked off. So I said out loud "how the hell a skin tag going to get infected?!" SO as he left I called him as assortment of idiots, dumbass and commie doctor and etc. There is another doctor here I am going to try to get him to look at it. It hasn’t gotten any worse since and I don’t exactly get sunlight that much...more so on the inside of my left thigh! I mean free I have been accused of keeping my clothes off, more than on..:) haha, but this is prison! Plus I don’t have a family history of it. SO the doctor might be right. It just pissed me off that he did not take a better look at it or order a biopsy. Though so is the product of contract healthcare. T.D.C.J. doesn’t have any power over the medical branch. I think this was set up as a protection from liability. Some of the people that have been around for awhile or have read my old articles on my www.saveaninnocentlife.com site, know about my last trip to the prison hospital in Galveston Texas to get a wisdom tooth cut out of my head. Well they lost my chart and didn’t give me any pain pills or anti-biotic for like a week! Since they only took out one wisdom tooth, I get to go back for removal of another. Hopefully I get antibiotics a little faster this time. I got a high tolerance to pain. Maybe from all the spanking I got as a kid and all the pepper spray here. :) But I don’t want to get an infection in this place that is for sure. We shall see how it goes. Onto other issues. Some people get into relationships with people here or in prison. If you are real about the relationship, then you actually are putting yourself in prison with that person. I mean if you’re being faithful and all that. It isn’t something to take lightly. Plus in a relationship of any kind, both people bring all their past with them. The pain, fears, scars, it all comes to the table. This at times makes it tougher on the couple to make it. Then add in all the haters that want to try to destroy the relationship. The good thing about rocky starts is it helps to lay a solid foundation. The adversity can help make the relationship stronger as you get a better feel of each other and have a better feel of each others limits. Most people during a rocky situation they just give up and walk away. There is no substance within them selves. They lack the strength to overcome. They fear adversity. These are generally the sheep in the world. Everyone has to have their limits, but at first sign of trouble you don’t just run off. In my own relationship with Vera, there has been allot of ups and downs. We are both hard headed and have complex situations that define our life. There have been people that don’t like me or her and they try to cause division between us. Though as my mother can tell all. I don’t listen very well and I will do what I'm going to do! My mom used to spank me and say "Clint do not leave the yard!" As soon as she opened the door and turned around I was gone! :) haha. Anyways. Life is short. I want to see all and do all. I know I am a difficult person to deal with. Life aint been easy for me so all that comes to the table when I get close to people. I will say this, that no matter what ever happens Vera has done allot for me and done her best to try to help me no matter the odds. She has sacrificed countless ways to help me. Something I will forever be thankful for. Just as I am for all others that have helped me. Even ones I am not in contact with anymore. Now to MySpace messages. Jo of U.K. long time no word! I am waiting on your letter. Glad that you made contact again. Rusty I haven’t been able to get your letter to you. I am low on stamps. As soon as I can get commissary I will get stamps! Helia thanks for the messages! Words are better than pictures, so don’t worry! :) Simone!! Yes you the one from Austria, did you get my letter? I wrote you but haven’t heard from you. I see from the message your still alive write when you can. To Jaxons mommy. I see you can write but can you actually mail that letter? RaK, thanks for the words. Well I got to wrap this long winded mo/fo down. I am going to try once again to write once a week. Now that I am level one, I will be able to, as I need something to focus my stress on. to all thanks for your attention. I leave as I came. Solid and united. Respectfully, Clinton Young #999-447 "Ladies Love Country Boys " by Trace Atkins
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